Episode 308 – “Help. I’m a Writer. What Do I Do Now?” with Pa Theriot

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In this episode, Jeff sits down with author Pa Theriot. Pa and Jeff talk about what they should work on next. It’s a question every author faces at some point, and a great reason to talk to a coach.

Here is the transcript of the conversation:

Jeff: Okay. So talk to me. You got a contest. Talk to me about what’s going on.

P: Yeah. So it’s a program that I was accepted into. And I’m really excited about it. Thank you. And so after six years of like knocking my head against this genre writing thing, I’ve been accepted into this very like literary elite type program and so I have to like reanimate that part of my process and brain. Um and so the the novel that I applied with which I thought like we would just be stuck into that project for the whole thing—

Jeff: Yeah, that makes sense to me that you applied with that one. They’re like this is the one you’re going to work on. Yeah.

P: Right. Um but during the first session which was last week, the facilitators said, “If you want to write a new novel, you’re welcome to do that”.

Jeff: Okay.

P: So, I could write a brand new novel in front of these like cream of the crop people with MFAs in real time after not having written literary fiction for six years. Um so that would be scary and intense.

Jeff: It would also be possible.

P: I was on the precipice of like, okay, do I start drafting right now and take 10 days and write a new novel or do I use this novel that I have I wrote in 2019 and I have Frankensteined it into a bunch of other projects. And you and I have talked about it before. That’s the Bless.

Jeff: The Bless. Okay.

P: It’s the one that I did the serial. Before Bella exploded. Um and I didn’t realize how important that was. Like I have been getting feedback from people who were reading it on Vela and were like, “What happens next though?”.

Jeff: That’s fantastic.

P: So there’s that project. Okay. Um and I love that project. I also have six years of work that I’ve done on it in completely different directions. There was that like fantasy novel series that I could have pursued that had medical mysteries. There was like the most work that I did with it was making it into that like romcom. Where it was focusing on those two characters. So, it’s this pregnant grieving widow who’s raising two daughters falls in love with her chaotic guardian angel.

Jeff: Okay.

P: So, that was the focus of the romcom. And so I had a lot more insertion of that character and then supporting characters around him that didn’t exist in the original novel. The original novel, my whole focus of writing it was like Cizu’s deconstruction, telling a feminine story and feminine voice.

Jeff: Yeah. Yeah, I remember that.

P: Breaking down the narrative structure even where it’s like, oh, building to a crescendo and then exciting climax and then falls off.

Jeff: Yeah. You’re really messing with the hero’s journey.

P: Yeah. Cyclical storytelling. Correct. And it’s turning and turning and turning and turning and lots of conversations over tea. Lots of like depth and process. There’s a birth experience inside the novel that I wanted to hold a lot of space for. Because the actual experience of pregnancy, labor, Y is huge and nobody talks about it like it just is not present in media at all in a real way.

Jeff: Yeah.

P: And also grief like grief just is not present in media at all in a real way. There are so many deaths in media and like characters that are created just to create sympathy for the main character. But that actual felt experience of grief you get maybe a beat of it and then we’re moving on to the next adventure. Um, so I was really keen to write a whole book in it.

Jeff: Okay. Um, and that’s what you applied with?.

P: That’s what I originally wrote. I applied with the prologue and first scene that I had written after the fact. I didn’t apply with like the raw original novel. I applied with some that I had revised from there. But that particular scene is pretty on track with what is in the original novel. However, I have to undo everything that I have done in the last six years to that novel and just turn back time.

(P describes being influenced by a professional genre writing group and adopting their “patterns”).

P: I have revivified a very old draft, Bless, found it in the cobwebs of my digital wild. It’s wild how familiar it is. I was worried about going back to that and having to work on it. But it has felt good just in the last week tinkering with it.

(P explains using the “triple goddess” archetype—Maiden, Mother, and Crone—and notes that they had accidentally “villainized the crone” in the original draft).

P: My character is in her 30s in the book, but she’s essentially going through that arc through the grief that she’s going through. Um, and I fell into the trap of like making the older woman the villain. I want to be mindful to be respectful of like the wisdom of the crone and like the very important place that that part of life holds for the entirety of a feminine expression.

Jeff: Well, what are you hoping to get out of the group you’re a part of?.

P: The goal for this workshop is to polish at least 100 pages of a novel. Because I draft so quickly, I can probably write a new novel and then work on that. My first workshop day is going to be next Wednesday and my second workshop day is the second to last week of class on August 20th.

Jeff: (Jeff asks where P falls on the scale of networking versus learning to edit).

P: I’m struggling to see those as opposite ends of a coin. I would love to be well known for the things that I am. I would love to reconnect with that world and be known for the work that I have and the work that I’m capable of. And then at the same time getting back into the practice of having that kind of feedback on my work. I’ve been an editor for a couple years now, but so much of it is just copy editing.

Jeff: (Jeff observes P is looking for peers and asks if the group will respect them if they write a new novel very quickly).

P: Not at all because I’m a wizard. I have been on calls where we work for 20 minutes and I cannot read all of what I wrote because I’ve written too much in that chunk of time. I can spool out well-considered things because I am so internal and I spend so much time deeply considering things.

Jeff: (Jeff summarizes the options: Stick with the established work “Bless” or lean into the superpower of writing something new).

P: I know that my work is good. My fear—my insecurity—is like what if I can’t do that anymore?. What if I poisoned my mind and broke myself with the six years of studying all this genre stuff and trying to write to market?. So part of me is really eager to write a new book just to prove to myself. And then also get my feet wet again in that world and writing for the art of it.

Jeff: (Jeff asks if P is too deep in “Bless” to receive more feedback on it).

P: I had considered that and I had considered like I cannot give them anything in the first 100 pages because that is already been through the workshop mill so hard. I want to show them raw pieces that have not been through any sort of grist mill yet.

Jeff: (Jeff repeats the summary: introducing a “new version” of self is scary but P hasn’t lost their gift).

P: I just like have not fit at all in trying to write the simplest story I can possibly write. I had people read and they’re like from page one “I’m not smart enough for this” or “what is happening”. I use they/them pronouns and they’re like “are they legion is this multiple people”. It’s just a non-binary character man, this isn’t rocket science.

Jeff: (Jeff suggests returning to a self P hasn’t explored for a while).

P: The facilitator for the workshop said it makes no sense to write for money. That world is not trying to be that.

Jeff: (Jeff relates stories of outliers making millions while 95% make less than $1,000, and encourages P that “Bless” is safe but the new slate is exciting).

P: My most productive years were when I was writing six novels in a year. I got it down to eight days was the shortest amount of time I took to write a 100,000 word novel. At that time I was in an abusive marriage and the world I was living in was harder to be in than a fictional world. Now my life is very full and there’s a lot of love. I have that “starving artist” fear like you have to be miserable in order to create beautiful things and I don’t want to feed into that narrative.

Jeff: I understand the myth. You have superpowers, P, not because of your trauma. They will be there even though you’re in a state of health. (Jeff asks about the cost of pulling away from the community to write).

P: June is Pride Month and there’s so much I already do in advocacy. It was a huge cost to pull away and hermit during that time. August feels a little more okay.

Jeff: How are you feeling now that we’ve talked?. Oh, I was going to ask you if you had ideas for the new novel.

P: Of course I do. I started a non-fiction book about aexuality—the specific relationship with sexuality and gender that autistic people have. The idea for this novel would be the narrative exploring that non-fiction book. I’ve also had in my brain for a long time all of these flawed relational archetypes that we have in the West.

One of them is the knight and the princess. The knight is built to serve the queen, but the way the princess currently is archetypally in our culture, that princess will never become the queen. The princess carries all of the emotional labor, but the knight is just a suit of armor with no heart. We have these knights and princesses matched up again and again, and it’s a miserable life where neither of them get to be whole people.

The actual narrative would be a beautiful story about autistic relationships. In autism, if you are high functioning, you get no support, and if you are low functioning, you have no agency or respect. The functioning label is a tool of ableism.

Jeff: You’re hitting such a national narrative right now. Telling an autistic story from an autistic voice for autistic people. P, you sound so excited about writing the new one. I think you got to do it.

P: I thought that I would have to do so much work starting at the zero draft, but the zero draft that I did in 2019 is good and whole. I can take whatever I learned from this workshop with a new book and apply it to that if I need to.

I started coaching autistics and that work has been so fruitful. The thing that I was struggling with with Bless is that writing a feminine story in a feminine voice was a hyperfixation at that time for me. Right now my hyperfocus is on my autistic identity. I’m so non-binary that steeping myself in the feminine pursuit would be a hard left turn.

Jeff: You got to chase that. How you feeling after we talk?.

P: I feel clear. I feel vivified.

Jeff: You deserve to be in this group. You can succeed and you are worthy. Let me stop the recording and we can talk a little bit more.