In this episode, Jeff sits down with John Krause to look at John’s most recent work in progress. They talk about science fiction and how to keep the descriptions engaging and moving.
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AI Summary
In this episode of the Dialogue Doctor podcast, host Jeff Elkins speaks with recurring guest John Krauss about his new space opera project, which John describes as “Joan of Arc meets Star Wars“. The conversation moves from the project’s conceptual origins to specific technical feedback on the opening chapter and a deep dive into the meaning of “character voice.”
Project Premise and Origins
John’s story is a retelling of the Joan of Arc narrative set in space, inspired by Robert McKee’s book Story, which discusses how the same set of facts can be interpreted through different themes. In John’s version, a young peasant girl on a rural planet receives seemingly divine messages—revealed to be ancient artificial intelligence technology—urging her to lead an army to stop an ongoing war between two rival planets. John aims for a “space western” or “space 15th-century France” aesthetic, combining agrarian, medieval-style life with high-tech elements like plasma and wires, but without faster-than-light travel.
Character Dynamics: Laura and Purpose
The discussion focuses heavily on the protagonist, Laura, whose journey centers on finding one’s purpose—specifically whether purpose is imposed by community and bloodlines or discovered for oneself.
- Avoiding Tropes: John wants to avoid the “strong female character” trope where a protagonist is perfect at everything from the start. Instead, he wants Laura to exhibit vulnerability and fear as she learns new skills, such as struggling to ride an “ether mount” ( a personal speeder/scooter that serves as a horse equivalent).
- Personality: Jeff identifies Laura’s voice as independent, pragmatic, cynical, and justice-oriented. John emphasizes that while she has an acerbic wit, she should not be “goofy”.
Technical Feedback on the Opening Scene
Jeff provides several insights to improve the “high-octane” first chapter, which involves Laura chasing a thief:
- Managing Pacing: Jeff notes that internal reflections on world-building (like the weather or politics) can slow down the action during a chase. He suggests moving these thoughts to moments when the character stops to catch her breath.
- Building Emotional “Heat”: To make the thief’s reveal more impactful, Jeff advises stretching out the dialogue. He explains that emotion builds through exchanges; the more the characters “pass the ball” back and forth, the more intense the scene feels.
- The “Bomb Drop” Ending: The chapter concludes with the reveal that it is Laura’s wedding day. Jeff suggests holding this information as long as possible to create a suspenseful cliffhanger that forces the reader into the next chapter.
Defining “Strong Character Voice”
The call concludes with a masterclass-style explanation of “voice.” Jeff clarifies that when agents ask for a strong voice, they are usually looking for a compelling emotional journey rather than just linguistic quirks. He breaks voice down into three components:
- Personality: How the character’s traits (like pragmatism) are revealed through their specific choices and dialogue.
- Alignment with Growth: The character’s personality must match the story’s potential for change.
- Modulation: A strong voice must change over time. As a character grows—moving from self-doubt to confidence, for example—how they sound in the final chapter should be different from the first.
Jeff encourages John to use the pressure of Laura’s societal expectations (the “wedding” and gender norms) to make her eventual rise as a warrior more powerful.